Book Review

So I was trying to think of some catchy play-on-words title for this post, but then realized that I am just setting myself up for failure in the future and making my standards way to high when I review any other book. Soooooo....simple is better.

Anyways, Merry Christmas and a Happy soon-to-be New Year to you all! I hope you all got some fabulous gifts and are enjoying my favorite time of year!

Yesterday I finished reading a book by A.G. Howard. One of my fabulous presents!

Splintered was a book that I have had on my must read list for almost a year now. I love the cover art and so I went ahead and asked for the actual book instead of the kindle version.

Despite the convenience of the kindle and all the awesome indie writers I have been able to read because of the easy downloadable books, I still love a real book in my hands.

Plus, they make my wall-to-wall bookshelves in my T.V. room look amazing.

Anyways, A.G. Howard writes a great alternate version to the classic tale of Alice in Wonderland. Except Howard's version takes places years after Alice escaped the Red Queens death trap and follows 17 year old Alyssa Gardner who is an ancestor of Alice and is doomed to face the same insanity that has taken the minds of her family ever since Alice escaped.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, so I will do my best to hit the main points of this book.

Things that make this book awesome and worth the read:
1. Wonderland is unique in the story. Much darker and twisted than the original.
2. Alyssa can hear the voices of bugs and plants.
3. The story line keeps you on your toes. Seriously. Even in the duller moments (which are few) I needed to keep reading just to figure out what the heck was happening.
4. Jeb. Don't you just get all giddy inside when a boy risks his life for you? Nuff said.
5. Morpheus. Couldn't get a read on this guy until the last few pages.

Things that make this book not so awesome:
1....

Yeah. I got nothing for this list. I would however, be careful if you are under the age of fourteen. Things get a little intense in a few spots and since I am a mom and a teacher, I would feel horrible if I didn't give a fair warning in that area.

The author was intensely original and for that reason alone (if not for the 5 I listed above), I will be purchasing the second in the series which comes out in just  few short weeks. Yay!

All the Voices in my Head

Found this pin and had to smile.

Countdown to Christmas

December is my favorite month! And not just because its my birthday month! This last week, even though it has been cold, I have loved. loved. loved the weather!

I know I have mentioned this before but everything is so much more fun with a cup of coffee in hand.

I am also more inclined to complete a few projects.

With Christmas break looming in the very near future, I am reminded of one of the reasons beside working with kids all day, that I chose to become a kindergarten teacher. 3 weeks of reading/writing/crafting/family time bliss!!

That's right. You heard me.

Three.

Weeks.

Three weeks of payed break is better than amazing. I am already on countdown and trying not to pack each day with something because I want to relax. But then again, that was my plan for Thanksgiving break and somehow I ended up doing three major projects. And by projects, I mean hunting down things I can add to my house without costing a fortune.

 This was our entertainment center.

Pretty. But way too small for the ginormous wall space. Plus, all the millions of wires hung out the side and we tried to cover them with a miss-match piece we used to have in another room. In short, I really didn't like it. But a huge 72 inch entertainment center was going to run about $400 on a good day.

Then one Friday night we swung by a local thrift shop. They were having a managers 50% off sale!

I know!

We found this for under $50.

Add some paint and new knobs and now I have a fantastic entertainment center. Seriously. We don't even turn on the television anymore. We just sit and stare at our new furniture.

I also painted an old dresser given to us for my daughter! It turned out pretty cute and we just recently added the knobs!

So for Christmas break I am on the hunt for two new nightstands and some lamps! And then I can read and write late into the night in my cozy bed where I don't freak myself out quite as much because there are less windows than the living room. Which reminds me, have you read Alice in Zombieland yet? If you haven't, I recommend it. The author is hilarious!



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Pinterest is my best friend

I know I have said this before and I am not ashamed to say it again...I am addicted to pinterest.

Literally.

I could spend hours on it looking at everything and following links. And I have.

My family swears they lose me during that time. I argue that they don't because I am sitting next to them while I am doing it.

So there.

Anywaysssss.....spending this black Friday writing instead of shopping. For one, because I am poor :) And for two, because the weather is just so fantastic that I can not help myself. (Not to mention I have developed a phobia of large crowds. Personal space, people!) But during a day-dream-brain break I saw this random clip on pinterest and thought I would share.

You writers knowhatmsayin.....

                                                       

Summer Blues

So my mom insists that I must have been switched at birth.

Unlike her, and most of the people in my family, I hate summer. 

Now don't get me wrong. I love the no school, less work, more play mentality. But if we could just switch those three months off to be during winter I would be a much happier gal. I suffer from what I call the summer blues. Actually, the scientific technical term is SAD. Not sure if they intended the pun when they named this one.

SAD is seasonal affective disorder. Now, I have never been professionally diagnosed. But I did look it up on webMD and that is pretty much the same thing, right?

Anyways, me and the sun are not friends. It hates me and I strongly dislike it. I hate the heat of summer and the forever and endless blue sky. A few clouds would be nice, along with a cold breeze. Give me some gray skies and a downpour of rain and then suddenly my mood lifts, I can't stop smiling and the creative bug hits me with a vengeance from hibernating in those drearily bright summer days. 

So you can imagine my surprise this morning while I am laying in bed reading and I hear the loud rumble of thunder. Rolling from my tangled covers I fling open my curtain to see a downpour of gargantuan sized rain drops! And then I did the only thing you can do when summer gives you a surprise like that: I flung open the sliding doors and ran around, spinning in the back yard with my kids until we were all drenched. 

Now that I am sitting on the couch, listening to the beautiful and glorious rain outside, I only slightly mind that it is still around 90 degrees outside. (I mean really, rain and heat should be enemies). And I don't even care that my frizzy hair that I spent an hour straightening is back to being a wet, crinkly mess. I am just smiling because today was the first hint that happy weather is just around the corner. Goodbye nights with no blankets because I am too sweaty to even handle it. Goodbye bright skies that make me rush from shaded spot to shaded spot so that my skin doesn't melt off. Goodbye only drinking coffee at 5 am in the morning because it is the only time of day that doesn't feel like a sauna. Hello scarfs, boots, and late nights of writing. Welcome back imagination that the summer blues tried to hide. I have at least a dozen characters speaking in my head (Schizophrenic much?) ready for me to write their story.

 Now in the words of Hemingway, time to bleed.

Midnight Madness

For those of you who don't know, I am addicted to Pinterest. (And coffee. But I will never admit that to my husband).

My favorite pinning time? Midnight, because the house is quite and I can scroll page after page guilt free. Also because everything is so much funnier when your sleep deprived. I literally laugh until I cry. And sometimes I find little gems like this that have just the right sarcastic undertone that all I can do is smirk and think that whoever created the pin in the first place would be my best friend.

Now to kill 6 more hours until I can slip into my midnight madness!

80 % is the new 100%

So this last weekend my husband was gone for a family wedding. The last time he left for over a week I decided to pack up and take the kids on an adventure of our own in the steaming hot deserts of Arizona.

This time I thought staying home might be perfect.

And it sort-of was.

My great friend Yolanda challenged me to write a post while he was gone. And I did...in my head :)

Monday morning rolled around with a weekended gone and the husband back home and no blog post posted...but in my defense I did have it written and pictures ready, it just wasn't shared yet. Mostly because my weekend was crammed with everything on my to do list.

I find that lately, in trying to give myself 100 percent in so many different areas of my life, I end up only giving 80 percent to all areas and I am burnt out and stressed on top of it. Not to mention the guilt and self loathing for not being perfect in my multi-tasking.

For instance, I fully believe that a clean house, children entertained, fresh homemade food always prepared, workout done, favorite book with coffee enjoyed, several thousand words for my book written each night, husband time, pamper time, devotion time, and work time are all very reasonable things that I should be able to give my full effort towards daily.

So when I end the day with a thrown together meal, a sink full of dishes, kids and mom in a melt down, no words written for my book because I am exhausted so I ditch the workout, ditch the reading time, ditch the coffee and fall asleep mid-conversation with the husband...needles to say I wake up guilty and swearing to do better only to end that day in a frustratingly similar way.

It feels like an endless cycle.

So, the weekend I found myself husbandless, I decided on one thing. I would fill my weekend with all those hobbies and must do's, but I would only give them half as much as I expected from myself. And honestly....it worked out amazingly!

I worked out some, drank some coffee, read a few chapters, wrote a few chapters, watched a chick flick, built tents with the kids, baked with the kids, visited a friend, ignored the dishes but picked up the living room, crafted with the kids, painted, slept....my list really could go on. And since I did not expect 100 % from myself in ALL of the areas, I had no guilt towards the less-than-perfect me. I highly suggest it for anyone struggling with a full plate! There is something very relaxing about just going with the flow and letting go of our ideas of how we should be, and just be. Enjoying the small things with no expectations is a very freeing thing.

Red Shoes Please?

Nothing like nice rainy weather, a large steaming cup of coffee and the gooiest ham and Swiss croissant to get you writing in bed. I haven't blogged in a while and I get the feeling that my blogging life is going to be a lot like my diary life....skipping a few days here or there :)

Recently I was asked to be a long term sub in probably what is one of the most exciting jobs ever to us book worms...my kiddos school library.

Yep, I have been busy organizing shelves of books, reading to the little's, and reading to myself :) Dream job huh?
This upcoming week is the book fair and so I have been busy preparing. But before the craziness begins, I set aside today to be a "do-nothing-day" allowing myself to eat yummy food (which I am convincing myself is calorie free) and writing.
There is some major stuff going on in Jemma's life right about now and she is at a very dark place in her thoughts. Just a moment ago (without giving a way too much) I found her in a very unusual place and not where she should be at all...

Hays, Kansas.

Would you want to meet a tainted here?

(photo by Mr. Zimmerman)


Thus the title of this post. With the OZ movie in theaters and some new Wizard of Oz books just given to the school library, I thought it was kind of crazy how while Dorthy needs her red shoes to get her back to Kansas, I am pretty sure Jemma wouldn't mind those shoes to get her out of Kansas.....

Guess you'll just have to wait a little longer to see why :)

Title change....

Several months ago, a good friend of mine suggested I change the title of my blog to my name. At first, I wasn't so sure. It felt kinda vain and I just was plain uncomfortable with it. But now that it has been over 6 months after my first novel was published on amazon, and I have gotten a little more comfortable with this whole blog-thing...I started re-thinking about it.

I have an addiction to following the blogs of other authors that I respect and as my list started to grow, I realized that pretty much each author used their name as the title. Maybe it is just easier for readers to google and find you when they are interested in a world you have created.

So, anyways, I decided that it might be a good idea and would help to streamline my current book as well as my future ones.

I hope you all are having a wonderful season and staying healthy....in a few short weeks I will be sending out some manuscripts to more agents so keep your fingers crossed!! :)

For real....

These are serious things to consider

Just breathe

Soooooo.....I have been really focused and have not had much to say lately to the blogging world. Same old same old. Finishing my degree and writing, writing, writing. I am over half way done with writing Sanctuary and have been sending portions to my beta readers for review....it is coming along and I am excited by some new faces and sad to see others go....

With that said, tonight I decided that instead of doing homework, I would spend a few hours online and get some writing done that has been on my mind lately. I clicked onto the blog to post a quick update and noticed that I had a comment.....now this is where I get really excited! Because this comment had me smiling from ear to ear! I got my first review that is not an amazon review!!!

Here's the link if you would like to get all giddy with me:

http://smartowlbooks.weebly.com/tainted-trilogy.html#

Writing, writing, writing

The last few months I have been writing.

But not on here apparently :)

Between school and books, I have kept myself busy and really have not had much to tell.
I am almost finished with school (a Masters degree) and in this last seven weeks I have never felt like quitting more. It's like senioritis times twenty.

And reading...oh the reading...my husband has been buying me books off of my amazon wish list and I have been blissfully tucking myself away at night with them instead of turning on my computer.


( this one here was great, Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi...looking forward to her second one in the series next year!)

And then there is the writing, one of my favorite and most annoying things ever.
How can something you love drive you so crazy???
Between the five books I have been playing with, I am finding I am my own worst enemy. But, this last week or two I have really thrown myself into SANCTUARY the second installment of the Tainted Trilogy.

I blame it on the fact that I have been walking for an hour every morning listening to my writing music and my imagination has gone wild.
And I am really excited because Sanctuary is really coming together!
I had wanted to already have it finished and published by now because I am really excited about the third book and wanted to get to it....but then I was just rushing through it and it wasn't getting to where I wanted it to.
Annoying.
But then I remembered how much I really love Jemma and Gage and remembered that to have book three be great, then book two needs to build that foundation that is very important in the new world.

Sooooo...in short, I am sorry it is taking so long and as part of my apology, I am going to post a short scene written from Gage's point-of-view. This is the extra that I published at the end of Tainted if you had bought the paperback. But for those of you you only bought the ebook, then this is new.

Basically, I was playing around with the last chapter of Tainted and since the whole thing is from Jemma's perspective, I felt like trying to see from Gage's perspective.....spoiler alert if you have not read the book yet...this is the last chapter after all.....

GAGE

            The rain was finally letting up and I could not help but feel a little relieved, even if it was doing what Preston thought and keeping our scent away from the sick. I was worried about how slick the ground was becoming and had slowly been losing the confidence that I could protect Jemma if I needed to.

            Glancing over my shoulder I saw her struggle a little up the last hill under the weight of Trevor. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to focus on our surroundings, staying aware and in tune to every sound and movement, slowly making our way towards the light and our only hope at the moment. I would take Trevor and carry him for her, but I already knew her well enough to realize that it would be a pointless attempt.

            When we reached the point of the path where we could finally see below us, I felt my muscles tense, ready to fight. The rest of the group seemed to respond the same way. Only Megan let out a small whimper of lost hope.

            Below us rose the walls that would give us safety. And surrounding those walls were the hundreds of sick bodies that would keep us from that. My mind began to work in over drive, calculating any chance we could have of making it inside without being hurt. The odds were not in our favor. Reaching up I rubbed at my chin, feeling the small stubble that was growing from the days we had spent on the road. Jemma stood beside me now, her green eyes calculating as she thought. Watching her from the corner of my eye, I knew that if anyone was going to survive, I would make sure it was her. I would not let her life be wasted.

            Adjusting the gun in my free hand, I prepared to walk down into the mess below and create a distraction. Maybe it would be enough for the people inside to come to her rescue. Maybe it would be all that was needed for Jemma and everyone else to make it inside.

            Before I could move, I saw Jemma square her shoulders.

            “Gage, leave the pack here. We won’t need it anymore.” Jemma adjusted Trevor, cradling him closer to her.

 I looked at her unsure, but took the pack off and slid it under a bush.

“See the tree line over there? We need to make our way through there and then I think we can sprint across the dirt. It looks like there is a gate on that side that is clear of any infected.” She handed Megan her gun. The look in her eyes was pure determination. She was beautiful.

“Do you want me to take him?” I asked her, trying to calm my racing heart by checking each gun to make sure they were loaded. I didn’t know if my pulse was furious because I was worried about losing the only girl I had ever loved or because we were about to make our way into a horde.

“Not yet.”

Jemma started towards the tree line, followed by Megan and Preston. I took up the rear, making sure to keep my eyes on the bodies to the left. My shoes slid in the mud, but I was able to avoid any roots from the stumps of trees that had recently been cleared. Within minutes we were lined up with a gate that was embedded on the far side of the wall.

“When we get to the side, we will all start shouting for help. Meg, turn on the flashlight and signal up towards the top of the wall. Preston and Gage, fire only when we need to.” Jemma sounded breathless. She was nervous.

I watched as a few of the sick seemed to sense a change. Like they knew we were there and were just trying to figure out where exactly.

“Now!” Jemma half shouted.

We ran as a group, reaching the wall just as a few of the sick turned towards us, stumbling to find us in the dark. We only had minutes left before they were upon us. I was tempted to start firing at them while Jemma and the rest tried to get the attention of the people inside the walls, but I wasn’t sure if I would actually hit anyone. Most likely they would be wasted bullets. Instead, I started shouting with everyone else, firing one bullet into the air.

I was too busy screaming and watching the approaching group to realize what was happening. I didn’t see Jemma hand off Trevor or turn towards Preston. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, Jemma grabbed me and kissed me. I felt stunned as I felt our lips mold together softly before hers hardened and she pulled away, tears brimming her eyes and threatening to run down her cheeks.

Then my heart stopped as she turned and ran towards the crowd of zombies.

To my horror, the horde switched directions. Instead of hunting us, they were now hunting Jemma.

My body and my mind were suddenly at war with each other. As I twisted to follow her and shoot at the things chasing her, I knew that if I did not get her brother and best friend inside, she would hate me forever. Fighting my instinct, I dug my feet into the mud and fired at a few of the backs of the heads of the sick, screaming at the top of my lungs. Several bodies dropped and fell still in the mud. It wasn’t until I stopped screaming that I realized there was gun fire coming from the top of the wall.

Tearing my eyes away from where Jemma was running, I saw the gate start to crack. For me, that was enough. I turned and sprinted for the tree line, running up the side of the mass of sick and hoping to get to where Jemma was before it was too late. Cutting through the bushes, I felt something twist around my ankle, yanking me to the floor.

My eyes were blinded by the darkness but I could feel thin strong fingers wrapping into the hem of my jeans. Kicking with my free leg, I made contact with something soft. The fingers around my leg loosened and I took advantage of it, scooting back quickly and jumping back up.

“Crap!” I couldn’t see Jemma. But the crowd was beginning to beat on one of the abandoned busses. She had to be there. And if they were still trying to get to her, it meant she was still alive.

I felt a rush of renewed strength and quickly made my way through the last half of the trees. The back side of the bus was not yet swarming with bodies and I saw a few of the windows were half way down. Using my belt, I tied my gun to my back and hunched down, getting up under the window without being seen.

Jumping as high as I could, I reached for the open window. My muscles spasmed but I could hear Jemma scream inside. Using my feet, I pushed against the bus and pulled my body up through the window, tumbling head first inside and banging my ear against the side of the metal seat frame.

 “Gage?” Jemma had fallen back into a seat across from me, fear etched into her face. Hastily looking over the bus and realizing the sick were still outside, I bent over, placing my hands on my knees and trying to catch my breath. The window had been a lot higher than I had expected and my ear that I had hit was buzzing. I watched as confusion and happiness crossed through her eyes before she settled on being angry.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be safe behind that wall right now, taking care of Preston and Meg and Trevor!” Jemma reached up and smacked my arm. I lightly grabbed her wrist as it came in the second time. Even with the dead shaking the bus, all I could think about was how she had kissed me before she ran and how badly I wanted to pull her close to me right now and kiss her back.

Mud streaked her clothes and rain and tears had dried to her face. With her blonde hair knotted at the nape of her neck and her eyes wild and alive, I couldn’t think of any other place I would rather be. Definitely not without her behind the safe walls.

“What? You get to be the only hero? I can’t have you showing me up like that. I’ll never be able to live it down.”

“Gage, I’m not planning on making it out of here.”

“Yeah well, I didn’t get to kiss you back.” If only she knew how much I loved her. A smile played at her lips and then she said the three words I had been waiting to hear. The ones that made everything worth it.

 “I love you.”

I smiled at her, ignoring the hands that were reaching in through the windows. My legs felt weak. Reaching for her hand, I pulled her into one of the benches, tucking her back away from any open window. Reaching back, I undid my gun and laid it across my lap. I wasn’t sure how much time we had left, but I would make sure that she was safe as long as I could.

Jemma was the one to break the silence.

“Did they make it?” She whispered.

I waited a moment, not wanting to lie to her, but wanting her to have some sense of hope. “When you took off, it took me a moment to realize what you were doing. I was torn, knowing you would want me to stay. But as soon as the gate started to open, I took off.”

She seemed satisfied. Leaning her head against my shoulder, I bent down, brushing my lips against her forehead. A few more minutes would have been ideal, but then again, it would have been ideal to not be in this situation at all. The bus suddenly rocked as the bodies outside became too many. The bus tipped sideways and our backs slammed against the windows as they shattered, sending glass shards over us.

The sick were now inside.

Letting go of Jemma, I grabbed for my gun and leaned around the seat, firing as the horde made its way inside towards us.

At my feet Jemma called my name, but her voice sounded weak and distant.

“I’m right here Jemma,” I called back. But she didn’t answer. Panicking I looked down. She was still breathing, but blood was coming from her head.

“Jemma!” I called her name again, trying to get her to look at me. I heard a snarl and looked up as body lunged at me, its nails scraping down my cheek. I swung my fist back, nailing him square in the jaw and throwing him back far enough that I was able to get my gun back up and release several shots, killing the guy in front of me.

The others were not far behind him. Bending down I reached to check Jemma’s pulse. It was faint, but she was still alive.

Suddenly the air around me grew hot and the area around me lit up so brightly that I was forced to cover my eyes with my free hand. The heat was so strong that my ears began to hum and I almost missed the sounds of humans yelling above the screeching of the sick.

“Jemma,” I said again as I reached down to scoop her limp body into my arms. I leaned back, forcing her head to rest against my chest. Looking down, I could see where the blood was coming from, but if I pulled out the chunk of glass, it may bleed more.

“Help!” I screamed. “We’re in here!” There had to be someone out there. They had to be coming for us. Within seconds the last of the sick dropped dead, a gunshot to the back of the head.

And behind them, was a wall of men dressed in all black.

............................

Mud Fun

Today I called in sick.
Not because I am sick...but because my son is. And I think there is nothing more important than taking care of your babies when they are sick.
Unfortunately, I called in sick not to work, or to school, but for my student teaching. And when you call in sick for a day in the world of student teaching, they just add an extra day to your sentence.
But I can't really complain because for that extra day added, I get a day of lovin' on my baby, reading and writing, and finally starting on that pile of laundry I have been stepping over and digging through.
So this post will be short because I have lots of laziness to get to.
But I wanted to write about this really fun event my husband and I just did.
We had a mud date!
For years I have been begging someone to do a mud run event with me. But of course, The word Run deterred everyone from the fun.
Then last month, I called my husband to brag about a seven mile run I did (I am a sporadic runner...like a month here and there type. So this was a great accomplishment) and he says, "That's perfect because I just signed us up for a mud run with my work."
I was ecstatic. Him...not so much.
But he did it because he loved me. And other than being sore after, we had a blast!
Sorry I don't have any pictures of the course (cameras and mud are not friends), but I'll explain it to you so you can use your imagination...
After about a mile run (walk, jog, whatever) we reached a field with about 8 little mud hills. Like what you would see motorcycles ride over. Before each mud hill was a mud pit that, when standing in it, it came to the middle of my thighs. After each mud hill was another mud pit that we had to slosh through. Doesn't sound too hard, right? Well, now imagine almost 100 people doing this all together, sliding into one another and the hills being so slippery that to get over you have to dig your nails in and crawl and pull yourself over only to slide down the other side into the mud.

All I pictured was that I was fighting for my life or fleeing zombies though, and I was over super fast with only a few scrapes on my legs and a tons of mud under my nails. The picture above shows my duct-taped wrapped shoes because you do not want to loose your shoes in the mud. There were a lot of abandoned shoes laying around.

After that, we came to a second field. In this one there are giant hurdles we had to pull ourselves over (or in my case, have your husband shove you over because you can barely reach the top to pull up) , hurdles we had to crawl under,  and half tires we needed to army crawl under. All in deep mud pits of course. Not to mention a board we had to balance across or fall to our death in a gross looking mud pit that no one was touching.
Then, the nice firemen hosed us down so we could hoof it back the mile in a half to the final field which has a mud pool with a tunnel we swam through and a mud mountain we climbed (clawed) to the top so we could slide down the muddy other side into the last mud pit and then ran to cross the finish.
EVERYTHING was soaked in mud! We used towels in our car to get to the in-laws house where our kiddos were waiting. Even after hosing down in the back yard, mud was still coming off me from who knows where.
Sounds like the best time ever right?!

My sister keeps mentioning the zombie run.
I told her that's not gonna happen.
I don't feel like having an anxiety attack while I run or accidentally beating up a poor actor out of fear.
For now, I'll stick with the mud runs.

Summer Haze

Over a month since my last post?! That is just crazy! Summer has flown by with lots of family fun including a few mini vacations, swimming, movie nights, beach time, fishing, library visits, game nights and lots of laughs as well as the occasional sibling fight.
 But my "me" to do list was barely touched.

Out of the several things I set out to really do this summer for myself, only one of them got its fair share of my attention...reading. I lost myself in about 10 books and still have another five waiting patiently by the side of my bed.

Also, not pictured: Julie Kagawa's Iron Fey Series, Aprilynn Pikes newest novel to her Wings series called Destined, Carrie Jones newest book in her Need Series called Endure , and a great one by Veronica Roth called Divergent.....All of which are great reads.

I also started and lost my first garden....

 Which was killed when this little booger chewed through it AND the fence and ran away....

Thank goodness she was found after a week of tears and now when we leave she must stay in this due to her new insatiable need for freedom....

I also tried to do this more this summer....

Which did not happen at all. :)

My other thing that did not receive as much attention as I had planned was writing.
To be honest  I have thought about sitting down and writing, but my summer did not really go as planned....do they ever?
Now I wrote, but I just had a problem with sticking to one story. I have about five stories outlined and I jumped from one to the next depending on my mood.
About two nights ago I decided that this isn't really working out for me.
I need to focus on one story at a time because I don't actually feel like I am getting anything done at this point. Now the problem is deciding which one...
I also have been looking into attending a writers conference. Anyone out there ever been to one? There is the San Diego one coming up that might be fun (as well as a little intimidating).

So now the kiddos head back to school next week and the husband heads back to work and I will be left with a fairly quiet house and an energetic boxer. The summer of 2012 flew past and now I can't wait for cooler weather, pumpkin everything and a yard full of leaves for the kids to play in.
But in the mean time...I need to use this moment to focus on the one thing I am passionate about and love enough to keep at it even if it were to never really go anywhere because I need it.
So wish me luck as I pick one of my stories to disappear into and hopefully come back with an awesome book to share.

Back to Life

I took an 8 day fast from all technology.
I know what you are thinking...how did she survive?!
Well, it was not really by choice.
My husband was asked several months ago to join a team of teachers for a mission trip to Haiti. This trip was going to be a teacher conference type of trip where new curriculum was going to be brought to a school over there and the teacher's on the trip would basically train the Haitian teachers how to use it for the benefit if the children. It was to be an 8 day trip and while I was happy for him, I was also a little nervous.

Left : This is one of the local classrooms where my husband went....



Below are some of the students who showed up on their day off to help the teachers. They were promised a meal and something to take home.






                                                                                 

 Left: These were some friends at the school. My husband has two full sleeves of tattoo's that the students loved. They were showing their arms for the camera screaming "Sak Pase" which is basically "whats up!"





Below is a finished school building

 Left: These are the cafeteria ladies in the school cafeteria





Below is a giant spider that they had tons of. I was told they are almost the size of baseballs. So I pretty much would have NEVER slept.

My husband and I have been together 12 years. Out of those 12 years (included the time that we dated) we spoke every.single.day.
Seriously.
The only time we did not see each other was the various hospital stays that happen with a new little family and even in those we took advantage of the hospital phone.
For this trip, we would not be able to talk and the only form of communication we could squeeze in were about three emails (which I lived for by the way).
So here I am, suddenly husband free with two little ones and my mom mentions she is headed out to Arizona for five days of boating. The kids and I jump in her car and head out to Arizona to swim our hearts out and get sunburnt and dry.
But even in that, I missed my husband. A lot.
It is funny, because once people heard that this was our first real apart time almost everyones response was "Then this will be healthy for you"
And to that I say a resounding "bull crap."
Now, I wasn't crying and beyond eating and could not find joy in anything I did.
I had a blast, laughed with my kids and sisters and got my first tan in ages (I typically avoid the sun for fear of wrinkles and cancer)
But I felt...hollow. Like a piece of me was missing. Like I was supposed to have someone who saw life the same as me to share my experiences and that person was not there.
If that was my life would I go on? Sure. Why not. If I have learned anything from my tears over my 30 years of life is that eventually they stop coming and the empty scars fade.
But, I am fortunate to not be in the position yet and so I must say that just because we see each other everyday or talk everyday does not mean we have an unhealthy relationship.
In fact, I think it means the opposite. I think it means we fit together just so that it speaks volumes for our very healthy/best friends relationship in that we actually LIKE each other.
Weird. I know.



Me in the spot my husband proposed to me just 11 years earlier.....

On other notes...
Now that I am getting back to normal life things, last night I sent one of my other YA series to a few agents. So keep your fingers crossed. I seriously respect anyone who has sent query after query out because it is one of the hardest things to do. I mean, try explaining a 300 page book in one or two paragraphs and in a way that catches the eye of someone who is reading over 100 queries a day so that they contact you and ask for more....only a little intense.
I'll keep you updated.

Party Time!

So for anyone who knows me, I have started this little tradition of creating movie/book themed "parties". It all started with the TWILIGHT movies and then the HUNGER GAMES. Today was SNOW WHITE and the HUNTSMAN. I decorate and center the colors and food around things in the book (or for SNOW, the original story)....

For example:
Breaking Dawn Brunch ~
Honeymoon Quiche (Because you know, Bella loved her eggs)
Pregnant Toast (Strawberry and cream cheese stuffed french toast)
Fido's Scraps (A dog bowl with FIDO written on the side full of sausage)

Decorations were fake engagement rings.
This is our group gettin' ready to go to the movie...(the littlest kids (mine and my sisters) get the yummy food, but stay home with a sitter~ aka: grandma)

Hunger Games Luncheon ~
District Bread Bowls with Greasy Sae's chili
Katniss's Strawberry Salad
Peeta's Bakery Smores

I made little book marks with the Mockingjay symbol

And there was today: A Huntsman BBQ, which was a little harder because there really wasn't a book to go by, just the old story I had grown up on. But it really did not matter as much as long as there was some crazy hunstman style meat. Of course the boys ate the beef kidney (ewww) while I stayed on the side of sane and had my spinach salad and chicken/apple/gouda sausage finished off with a caramel apple pie that was displayed under a felt garland of red apples. (sorry, I would post pictures but my camera turned on in my purse and now I am charging the battery like the responsible person I am)
And these parties would not be anything if the large group of us didn't actually go to see the movie as soon as our tummies are stuffed.

Sadly, while most of the parties have around fifteen of us, today almost everyone had to cancel except for a few. At first, I was a little frustrated. And then, a little paranoid (what if something bad was going to happen and everyone pulling out last minute was a sign??) But then, the party came and went, the movie was fun since we could all enjoy it without passing messages down a long row of friends. After, one of my brothers hung out for a few hours and we totally brainstormed my books.
He was as excited as I was as we talked music for the writing time, as well as some amazingly awesome ideas for book three (have I mentioned how excited I am to get to that book?) And then, because my brother can think these things through, we worked at some of the minor details one does not often think about. Like can the Tainted bleed out? (Which after some discussion, I had to go with no) And so that leads to some thinking about what the world would look like one year later? Or two, or twenty?

So now I am waiting for the next big one (Breaking Dawn Part II) and one that should be fun (The Host) and of course the second in the Hunger Games series (yay!) to start planning my little get together's that drive the husband crazy and make my friends and family tease me. But I know the memories will last them forever and when we are all old and gray they will remember and still talk about it as we read books on the porch. And who knows...maybe someday I will be planning a party for the movie release of one of my books!!!

Hey, a girl can always hope :)

Bring on theSummer Reading!

So last summer I went a little nuts with the summer reading. Our local library is pretty amazing and so we visit it quite often. Well, you know the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover"? It is sprinkled with a little bit of nonsense. Because yes, when it comes to people I totally get that. But I almost always pick up a book to read based on the cover.

I slide through the YA section of my library, pulling books out at random, scanning the title and the cover. If it doesn't catch my attention, I place it back in its spot and continue on until I have an arm full of books to read.

Not saying that this is the only way I pick a book (I also take recommendations) but I have found some of the most amazing series and novels this way! I have discovered authors that I admire and genre's within the YA world of literature that I did not even realize existed (like steam punk zombie) and while this summer my to-read shelf is already very full as is my kindle, I can't help but get excited about finding awesomely done covers and new authors.

So for mothers day, one of the things I wanted to do was wander Barnes and Nobel a bit. Two books just recently came out that I want to read and have been waiting for the last 10 months: Endure by Carrie Jones, the final book to the Need Series AND Destined by Aprilynne Pike, part of her Wings Series.

I also stumbled upon a few others based on their covers that I mentally added to my wish list for the summer:
Masque of the Red Death by Bethany Griffin
Desires of the Dead and The Last Echo, both a body finders novel by Kimberly Derting
The Last Princess by Galaxy Craze (I know, cool name right?!)
The Immortal Rules by Julie Kagawa (I am actually reading her Iron Fey series right now and loving it! This one is all over GoodReads so now I am curious)
Revived by Cat Patrick

Fortunately for me, I FINALLY finish college this summer (is it odd that I feel weird adding the M.A after my name?) and so my free time to read will grow. As it is now, I have to sneak reading time in when I exercise or on my lunch break or when the family is asleep.

Other than that...I just plan on writing, writing, writing. I am in the middle of  completing three different novels at the moment and looking forward to publishing the second book in the Tainted series by the end of summer.

So now that I have shared a glimpse of my reading list for the summer, I would like to know, whats on yours?


Oh, and just a little side note: took a relaxing two day vacation up in the mountains with the family and had myself a little Jemma moment.

Thought the cloud trails were beautiful but immediately thought about the tainted! Stay healthy!

The Power of the Mind

So the other night, I had a horrible nightmare. The kind where you wake up so relieved that it was not your reality, but that during it you actually experience the emotional conflict of it as if it were real.

Of course. It was about zombies.
Not the type I write about in Tainted, but the type they use on the scifi channel. The type that are a little crazily overdone.

But still scary.

In my dream, there were places that were safe, where normal society could exist without worrying about monsters. Most of my dream took place in my moms house, which in that weird dream way was my house. And I spent much of my time making sure everything was safe.
Then, at some point, I needed to walk somewhere (because a car would have been too easy).
In my dream my heart was pounding as I walked down some empty city street that had massive oak tree's lining it and shading the road. I was looking around frantically as I power walked, taking notice of another woman on a walk. I also passed a second woman who was wearing workout clothes and jogging as if life was okay.
Then all three of us stopped, seeing a woman sitting in her car who was twitching and talking to herself. She was changing.
I screamed at the other two woman that she was turning and they need to get to safety at the same time they looked at me saying to run because they also understood what was happening.

Anyways, the dream became jumbled. Somehow a place I was in was not safe and someone I love died making me feel horribly burdened by pain, loss, and fear. Not to mention the monsters chasing me. Ugh.

I woke up, rolled towards my husband saying I had a bad dream. He replied by saying I needed to stop reading scary books. In my defense, I haven't read a scary book in awhile. I actually just finished reading the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead.

But it made me wonder, why HAD I had that dream?
Was it stress and the feeling of lack of control that seems to be overwhelming me lately? Maybe.
Or maybe I just have a weird mind? Probably.
Whatever the reason, it wasn't fun and the emotions that came with it felt real.

It also made me think of a scene I just read in the series I mentioned above. It was a break up scene and my palms were sweating and I felt sad and guilt as if it were me.

Oh the power of the mind. Did you know that if you are unhappy, and you force yourself to smile at others, eventually you become happy because the brain recognizes that muscles used and attributes it to happiness? Our mind is a very, very powerful thing.

As writers, we have the opportunity to evoke emotion just by the words we speak on paper. The power to have the readers mind transfer it into a true emotion. And any book that can grasp that and do it well becomes a great.

Something to definitely aspire to.
No pressure or anything :)

Just Plain Lazy

This week has been spring break. While my college still has classes and the restaurant I work at NEVER sleeps, the school I work at full time is out and so the lazy mornings....afternoons...and evenings have ensued. So what, may you ask, do I do with all of this amazing free time?

Nothing.

Well, sort-of nothing. I have found that being lazy is the most amazing thing in the world. I have shut out everything, spent time reading a six book series, watched my kids play video games or tackle each other, taken two hour naps (shocked, I know) and slowly worked on my book.

The funny thing about being lazy though, is that motivation tends to go out the window. I am barely motivated to do anything at all. This includes think. Which is needed when writing a book. Or three.
I actually have not been working on Sanctuary this week like I had planned. I have been working on this other YA novel that I LOVE but the writers block caused by lazy brain has been a difficult hurdle to overcome. I am finding my imagination is working overtime, but it is just not connecting to write it down.

I think writers block is something every writer comes across at some point or another. And every writer has a different way of dealing with it. I have two ways.

My first way...I write something else. Sometimes it is a poem or a short story. Other times it is a scene that pops into my head. And then there are the moments I just write about character background. I look at it like exercising. Sometimes you just are not feeling it, but if you force yourself enough, eventually it will click.

My second way (what I have been doing this time around) is to disconnect. Now, the hard part about this way is that the laziness issue can work against you. BUT, if done right, it actually can work and in disconnecting, my imagination has soaked in some great things.

For example, a few days ago we headed to my husbands home town, Whittier. After visiting with family, we decided to tour some old places he remembered and show the kids. Well, one of those old places just happened to be this warehouse type store that was for baseball card venders. The place was tucked back by some old factory places. The warehouse had once been a place where they boxed and loaded oranges. Anyways, after we made it up to the place (it was on the top floor and my daughter hates heights) we entered and asked the guy guarding the door if they were open. He said yes.

Only the place was eerily closed down. A few handfuls of kids sat in the back playing some card games, but all the vending stations were covered from floor to ceiling with tarps. We wove in and out of the isles, looking for any sign of human life. But there was none.

Creepy.

But, my imagination kicked in and I was suddenly imagining horrors behind those tarps and freaked myself pretty good. Good enough that I plan on using that experience in Sanctuary. My disconnecting allowed my brain to stop thinking of my to-do lists and my responsibilities for a while so that the younger, kid part of my brain could have some fun.

And so, here I sit on the last day of my lazy spring break planning out which hours of my afternoon (and night) I get to spend working on my stories.

Writer block take that. Now only to get motivated to find an agent....

oh, and not that many pictures were taken of the surprise book party my husband threw together, but I found a couple I thought I would share: