Just breathe

Soooooo.....I have been really focused and have not had much to say lately to the blogging world. Same old same old. Finishing my degree and writing, writing, writing. I am over half way done with writing Sanctuary and have been sending portions to my beta readers for review....it is coming along and I am excited by some new faces and sad to see others go....

With that said, tonight I decided that instead of doing homework, I would spend a few hours online and get some writing done that has been on my mind lately. I clicked onto the blog to post a quick update and noticed that I had a comment.....now this is where I get really excited! Because this comment had me smiling from ear to ear! I got my first review that is not an amazon review!!!

Here's the link if you would like to get all giddy with me:

http://smartowlbooks.weebly.com/tainted-trilogy.html#

Writing, writing, writing

The last few months I have been writing.

But not on here apparently :)

Between school and books, I have kept myself busy and really have not had much to tell.
I am almost finished with school (a Masters degree) and in this last seven weeks I have never felt like quitting more. It's like senioritis times twenty.

And reading...oh the reading...my husband has been buying me books off of my amazon wish list and I have been blissfully tucking myself away at night with them instead of turning on my computer.


( this one here was great, Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi...looking forward to her second one in the series next year!)

And then there is the writing, one of my favorite and most annoying things ever.
How can something you love drive you so crazy???
Between the five books I have been playing with, I am finding I am my own worst enemy. But, this last week or two I have really thrown myself into SANCTUARY the second installment of the Tainted Trilogy.

I blame it on the fact that I have been walking for an hour every morning listening to my writing music and my imagination has gone wild.
And I am really excited because Sanctuary is really coming together!
I had wanted to already have it finished and published by now because I am really excited about the third book and wanted to get to it....but then I was just rushing through it and it wasn't getting to where I wanted it to.
Annoying.
But then I remembered how much I really love Jemma and Gage and remembered that to have book three be great, then book two needs to build that foundation that is very important in the new world.

Sooooo...in short, I am sorry it is taking so long and as part of my apology, I am going to post a short scene written from Gage's point-of-view. This is the extra that I published at the end of Tainted if you had bought the paperback. But for those of you you only bought the ebook, then this is new.

Basically, I was playing around with the last chapter of Tainted and since the whole thing is from Jemma's perspective, I felt like trying to see from Gage's perspective.....spoiler alert if you have not read the book yet...this is the last chapter after all.....

GAGE

            The rain was finally letting up and I could not help but feel a little relieved, even if it was doing what Preston thought and keeping our scent away from the sick. I was worried about how slick the ground was becoming and had slowly been losing the confidence that I could protect Jemma if I needed to.

            Glancing over my shoulder I saw her struggle a little up the last hill under the weight of Trevor. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to focus on our surroundings, staying aware and in tune to every sound and movement, slowly making our way towards the light and our only hope at the moment. I would take Trevor and carry him for her, but I already knew her well enough to realize that it would be a pointless attempt.

            When we reached the point of the path where we could finally see below us, I felt my muscles tense, ready to fight. The rest of the group seemed to respond the same way. Only Megan let out a small whimper of lost hope.

            Below us rose the walls that would give us safety. And surrounding those walls were the hundreds of sick bodies that would keep us from that. My mind began to work in over drive, calculating any chance we could have of making it inside without being hurt. The odds were not in our favor. Reaching up I rubbed at my chin, feeling the small stubble that was growing from the days we had spent on the road. Jemma stood beside me now, her green eyes calculating as she thought. Watching her from the corner of my eye, I knew that if anyone was going to survive, I would make sure it was her. I would not let her life be wasted.

            Adjusting the gun in my free hand, I prepared to walk down into the mess below and create a distraction. Maybe it would be enough for the people inside to come to her rescue. Maybe it would be all that was needed for Jemma and everyone else to make it inside.

            Before I could move, I saw Jemma square her shoulders.

            “Gage, leave the pack here. We won’t need it anymore.” Jemma adjusted Trevor, cradling him closer to her.

 I looked at her unsure, but took the pack off and slid it under a bush.

“See the tree line over there? We need to make our way through there and then I think we can sprint across the dirt. It looks like there is a gate on that side that is clear of any infected.” She handed Megan her gun. The look in her eyes was pure determination. She was beautiful.

“Do you want me to take him?” I asked her, trying to calm my racing heart by checking each gun to make sure they were loaded. I didn’t know if my pulse was furious because I was worried about losing the only girl I had ever loved or because we were about to make our way into a horde.

“Not yet.”

Jemma started towards the tree line, followed by Megan and Preston. I took up the rear, making sure to keep my eyes on the bodies to the left. My shoes slid in the mud, but I was able to avoid any roots from the stumps of trees that had recently been cleared. Within minutes we were lined up with a gate that was embedded on the far side of the wall.

“When we get to the side, we will all start shouting for help. Meg, turn on the flashlight and signal up towards the top of the wall. Preston and Gage, fire only when we need to.” Jemma sounded breathless. She was nervous.

I watched as a few of the sick seemed to sense a change. Like they knew we were there and were just trying to figure out where exactly.

“Now!” Jemma half shouted.

We ran as a group, reaching the wall just as a few of the sick turned towards us, stumbling to find us in the dark. We only had minutes left before they were upon us. I was tempted to start firing at them while Jemma and the rest tried to get the attention of the people inside the walls, but I wasn’t sure if I would actually hit anyone. Most likely they would be wasted bullets. Instead, I started shouting with everyone else, firing one bullet into the air.

I was too busy screaming and watching the approaching group to realize what was happening. I didn’t see Jemma hand off Trevor or turn towards Preston. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, Jemma grabbed me and kissed me. I felt stunned as I felt our lips mold together softly before hers hardened and she pulled away, tears brimming her eyes and threatening to run down her cheeks.

Then my heart stopped as she turned and ran towards the crowd of zombies.

To my horror, the horde switched directions. Instead of hunting us, they were now hunting Jemma.

My body and my mind were suddenly at war with each other. As I twisted to follow her and shoot at the things chasing her, I knew that if I did not get her brother and best friend inside, she would hate me forever. Fighting my instinct, I dug my feet into the mud and fired at a few of the backs of the heads of the sick, screaming at the top of my lungs. Several bodies dropped and fell still in the mud. It wasn’t until I stopped screaming that I realized there was gun fire coming from the top of the wall.

Tearing my eyes away from where Jemma was running, I saw the gate start to crack. For me, that was enough. I turned and sprinted for the tree line, running up the side of the mass of sick and hoping to get to where Jemma was before it was too late. Cutting through the bushes, I felt something twist around my ankle, yanking me to the floor.

My eyes were blinded by the darkness but I could feel thin strong fingers wrapping into the hem of my jeans. Kicking with my free leg, I made contact with something soft. The fingers around my leg loosened and I took advantage of it, scooting back quickly and jumping back up.

“Crap!” I couldn’t see Jemma. But the crowd was beginning to beat on one of the abandoned busses. She had to be there. And if they were still trying to get to her, it meant she was still alive.

I felt a rush of renewed strength and quickly made my way through the last half of the trees. The back side of the bus was not yet swarming with bodies and I saw a few of the windows were half way down. Using my belt, I tied my gun to my back and hunched down, getting up under the window without being seen.

Jumping as high as I could, I reached for the open window. My muscles spasmed but I could hear Jemma scream inside. Using my feet, I pushed against the bus and pulled my body up through the window, tumbling head first inside and banging my ear against the side of the metal seat frame.

 “Gage?” Jemma had fallen back into a seat across from me, fear etched into her face. Hastily looking over the bus and realizing the sick were still outside, I bent over, placing my hands on my knees and trying to catch my breath. The window had been a lot higher than I had expected and my ear that I had hit was buzzing. I watched as confusion and happiness crossed through her eyes before she settled on being angry.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be safe behind that wall right now, taking care of Preston and Meg and Trevor!” Jemma reached up and smacked my arm. I lightly grabbed her wrist as it came in the second time. Even with the dead shaking the bus, all I could think about was how she had kissed me before she ran and how badly I wanted to pull her close to me right now and kiss her back.

Mud streaked her clothes and rain and tears had dried to her face. With her blonde hair knotted at the nape of her neck and her eyes wild and alive, I couldn’t think of any other place I would rather be. Definitely not without her behind the safe walls.

“What? You get to be the only hero? I can’t have you showing me up like that. I’ll never be able to live it down.”

“Gage, I’m not planning on making it out of here.”

“Yeah well, I didn’t get to kiss you back.” If only she knew how much I loved her. A smile played at her lips and then she said the three words I had been waiting to hear. The ones that made everything worth it.

 “I love you.”

I smiled at her, ignoring the hands that were reaching in through the windows. My legs felt weak. Reaching for her hand, I pulled her into one of the benches, tucking her back away from any open window. Reaching back, I undid my gun and laid it across my lap. I wasn’t sure how much time we had left, but I would make sure that she was safe as long as I could.

Jemma was the one to break the silence.

“Did they make it?” She whispered.

I waited a moment, not wanting to lie to her, but wanting her to have some sense of hope. “When you took off, it took me a moment to realize what you were doing. I was torn, knowing you would want me to stay. But as soon as the gate started to open, I took off.”

She seemed satisfied. Leaning her head against my shoulder, I bent down, brushing my lips against her forehead. A few more minutes would have been ideal, but then again, it would have been ideal to not be in this situation at all. The bus suddenly rocked as the bodies outside became too many. The bus tipped sideways and our backs slammed against the windows as they shattered, sending glass shards over us.

The sick were now inside.

Letting go of Jemma, I grabbed for my gun and leaned around the seat, firing as the horde made its way inside towards us.

At my feet Jemma called my name, but her voice sounded weak and distant.

“I’m right here Jemma,” I called back. But she didn’t answer. Panicking I looked down. She was still breathing, but blood was coming from her head.

“Jemma!” I called her name again, trying to get her to look at me. I heard a snarl and looked up as body lunged at me, its nails scraping down my cheek. I swung my fist back, nailing him square in the jaw and throwing him back far enough that I was able to get my gun back up and release several shots, killing the guy in front of me.

The others were not far behind him. Bending down I reached to check Jemma’s pulse. It was faint, but she was still alive.

Suddenly the air around me grew hot and the area around me lit up so brightly that I was forced to cover my eyes with my free hand. The heat was so strong that my ears began to hum and I almost missed the sounds of humans yelling above the screeching of the sick.

“Jemma,” I said again as I reached down to scoop her limp body into my arms. I leaned back, forcing her head to rest against my chest. Looking down, I could see where the blood was coming from, but if I pulled out the chunk of glass, it may bleed more.

“Help!” I screamed. “We’re in here!” There had to be someone out there. They had to be coming for us. Within seconds the last of the sick dropped dead, a gunshot to the back of the head.

And behind them, was a wall of men dressed in all black.

............................

Mud Fun

Today I called in sick.
Not because I am sick...but because my son is. And I think there is nothing more important than taking care of your babies when they are sick.
Unfortunately, I called in sick not to work, or to school, but for my student teaching. And when you call in sick for a day in the world of student teaching, they just add an extra day to your sentence.
But I can't really complain because for that extra day added, I get a day of lovin' on my baby, reading and writing, and finally starting on that pile of laundry I have been stepping over and digging through.
So this post will be short because I have lots of laziness to get to.
But I wanted to write about this really fun event my husband and I just did.
We had a mud date!
For years I have been begging someone to do a mud run event with me. But of course, The word Run deterred everyone from the fun.
Then last month, I called my husband to brag about a seven mile run I did (I am a sporadic runner...like a month here and there type. So this was a great accomplishment) and he says, "That's perfect because I just signed us up for a mud run with my work."
I was ecstatic. Him...not so much.
But he did it because he loved me. And other than being sore after, we had a blast!
Sorry I don't have any pictures of the course (cameras and mud are not friends), but I'll explain it to you so you can use your imagination...
After about a mile run (walk, jog, whatever) we reached a field with about 8 little mud hills. Like what you would see motorcycles ride over. Before each mud hill was a mud pit that, when standing in it, it came to the middle of my thighs. After each mud hill was another mud pit that we had to slosh through. Doesn't sound too hard, right? Well, now imagine almost 100 people doing this all together, sliding into one another and the hills being so slippery that to get over you have to dig your nails in and crawl and pull yourself over only to slide down the other side into the mud.

All I pictured was that I was fighting for my life or fleeing zombies though, and I was over super fast with only a few scrapes on my legs and a tons of mud under my nails. The picture above shows my duct-taped wrapped shoes because you do not want to loose your shoes in the mud. There were a lot of abandoned shoes laying around.

After that, we came to a second field. In this one there are giant hurdles we had to pull ourselves over (or in my case, have your husband shove you over because you can barely reach the top to pull up) , hurdles we had to crawl under,  and half tires we needed to army crawl under. All in deep mud pits of course. Not to mention a board we had to balance across or fall to our death in a gross looking mud pit that no one was touching.
Then, the nice firemen hosed us down so we could hoof it back the mile in a half to the final field which has a mud pool with a tunnel we swam through and a mud mountain we climbed (clawed) to the top so we could slide down the muddy other side into the last mud pit and then ran to cross the finish.
EVERYTHING was soaked in mud! We used towels in our car to get to the in-laws house where our kiddos were waiting. Even after hosing down in the back yard, mud was still coming off me from who knows where.
Sounds like the best time ever right?!

My sister keeps mentioning the zombie run.
I told her that's not gonna happen.
I don't feel like having an anxiety attack while I run or accidentally beating up a poor actor out of fear.
For now, I'll stick with the mud runs.

Summer Haze

Over a month since my last post?! That is just crazy! Summer has flown by with lots of family fun including a few mini vacations, swimming, movie nights, beach time, fishing, library visits, game nights and lots of laughs as well as the occasional sibling fight.
 But my "me" to do list was barely touched.

Out of the several things I set out to really do this summer for myself, only one of them got its fair share of my attention...reading. I lost myself in about 10 books and still have another five waiting patiently by the side of my bed.

Also, not pictured: Julie Kagawa's Iron Fey Series, Aprilynn Pikes newest novel to her Wings series called Destined, Carrie Jones newest book in her Need Series called Endure , and a great one by Veronica Roth called Divergent.....All of which are great reads.

I also started and lost my first garden....

 Which was killed when this little booger chewed through it AND the fence and ran away....

Thank goodness she was found after a week of tears and now when we leave she must stay in this due to her new insatiable need for freedom....

I also tried to do this more this summer....

Which did not happen at all. :)

My other thing that did not receive as much attention as I had planned was writing.
To be honest  I have thought about sitting down and writing, but my summer did not really go as planned....do they ever?
Now I wrote, but I just had a problem with sticking to one story. I have about five stories outlined and I jumped from one to the next depending on my mood.
About two nights ago I decided that this isn't really working out for me.
I need to focus on one story at a time because I don't actually feel like I am getting anything done at this point. Now the problem is deciding which one...
I also have been looking into attending a writers conference. Anyone out there ever been to one? There is the San Diego one coming up that might be fun (as well as a little intimidating).

So now the kiddos head back to school next week and the husband heads back to work and I will be left with a fairly quiet house and an energetic boxer. The summer of 2012 flew past and now I can't wait for cooler weather, pumpkin everything and a yard full of leaves for the kids to play in.
But in the mean time...I need to use this moment to focus on the one thing I am passionate about and love enough to keep at it even if it were to never really go anywhere because I need it.
So wish me luck as I pick one of my stories to disappear into and hopefully come back with an awesome book to share.

Back to Life

I took an 8 day fast from all technology.
I know what you are thinking...how did she survive?!
Well, it was not really by choice.
My husband was asked several months ago to join a team of teachers for a mission trip to Haiti. This trip was going to be a teacher conference type of trip where new curriculum was going to be brought to a school over there and the teacher's on the trip would basically train the Haitian teachers how to use it for the benefit if the children. It was to be an 8 day trip and while I was happy for him, I was also a little nervous.

Left : This is one of the local classrooms where my husband went....



Below are some of the students who showed up on their day off to help the teachers. They were promised a meal and something to take home.






                                                                                 

 Left: These were some friends at the school. My husband has two full sleeves of tattoo's that the students loved. They were showing their arms for the camera screaming "Sak Pase" which is basically "whats up!"





Below is a finished school building

 Left: These are the cafeteria ladies in the school cafeteria





Below is a giant spider that they had tons of. I was told they are almost the size of baseballs. So I pretty much would have NEVER slept.

My husband and I have been together 12 years. Out of those 12 years (included the time that we dated) we spoke every.single.day.
Seriously.
The only time we did not see each other was the various hospital stays that happen with a new little family and even in those we took advantage of the hospital phone.
For this trip, we would not be able to talk and the only form of communication we could squeeze in were about three emails (which I lived for by the way).
So here I am, suddenly husband free with two little ones and my mom mentions she is headed out to Arizona for five days of boating. The kids and I jump in her car and head out to Arizona to swim our hearts out and get sunburnt and dry.
But even in that, I missed my husband. A lot.
It is funny, because once people heard that this was our first real apart time almost everyones response was "Then this will be healthy for you"
And to that I say a resounding "bull crap."
Now, I wasn't crying and beyond eating and could not find joy in anything I did.
I had a blast, laughed with my kids and sisters and got my first tan in ages (I typically avoid the sun for fear of wrinkles and cancer)
But I felt...hollow. Like a piece of me was missing. Like I was supposed to have someone who saw life the same as me to share my experiences and that person was not there.
If that was my life would I go on? Sure. Why not. If I have learned anything from my tears over my 30 years of life is that eventually they stop coming and the empty scars fade.
But, I am fortunate to not be in the position yet and so I must say that just because we see each other everyday or talk everyday does not mean we have an unhealthy relationship.
In fact, I think it means the opposite. I think it means we fit together just so that it speaks volumes for our very healthy/best friends relationship in that we actually LIKE each other.
Weird. I know.



Me in the spot my husband proposed to me just 11 years earlier.....

On other notes...
Now that I am getting back to normal life things, last night I sent one of my other YA series to a few agents. So keep your fingers crossed. I seriously respect anyone who has sent query after query out because it is one of the hardest things to do. I mean, try explaining a 300 page book in one or two paragraphs and in a way that catches the eye of someone who is reading over 100 queries a day so that they contact you and ask for more....only a little intense.
I'll keep you updated.

Party Time!

So for anyone who knows me, I have started this little tradition of creating movie/book themed "parties". It all started with the TWILIGHT movies and then the HUNGER GAMES. Today was SNOW WHITE and the HUNTSMAN. I decorate and center the colors and food around things in the book (or for SNOW, the original story)....

For example:
Breaking Dawn Brunch ~
Honeymoon Quiche (Because you know, Bella loved her eggs)
Pregnant Toast (Strawberry and cream cheese stuffed french toast)
Fido's Scraps (A dog bowl with FIDO written on the side full of sausage)

Decorations were fake engagement rings.
This is our group gettin' ready to go to the movie...(the littlest kids (mine and my sisters) get the yummy food, but stay home with a sitter~ aka: grandma)

Hunger Games Luncheon ~
District Bread Bowls with Greasy Sae's chili
Katniss's Strawberry Salad
Peeta's Bakery Smores

I made little book marks with the Mockingjay symbol

And there was today: A Huntsman BBQ, which was a little harder because there really wasn't a book to go by, just the old story I had grown up on. But it really did not matter as much as long as there was some crazy hunstman style meat. Of course the boys ate the beef kidney (ewww) while I stayed on the side of sane and had my spinach salad and chicken/apple/gouda sausage finished off with a caramel apple pie that was displayed under a felt garland of red apples. (sorry, I would post pictures but my camera turned on in my purse and now I am charging the battery like the responsible person I am)
And these parties would not be anything if the large group of us didn't actually go to see the movie as soon as our tummies are stuffed.

Sadly, while most of the parties have around fifteen of us, today almost everyone had to cancel except for a few. At first, I was a little frustrated. And then, a little paranoid (what if something bad was going to happen and everyone pulling out last minute was a sign??) But then, the party came and went, the movie was fun since we could all enjoy it without passing messages down a long row of friends. After, one of my brothers hung out for a few hours and we totally brainstormed my books.
He was as excited as I was as we talked music for the writing time, as well as some amazingly awesome ideas for book three (have I mentioned how excited I am to get to that book?) And then, because my brother can think these things through, we worked at some of the minor details one does not often think about. Like can the Tainted bleed out? (Which after some discussion, I had to go with no) And so that leads to some thinking about what the world would look like one year later? Or two, or twenty?

So now I am waiting for the next big one (Breaking Dawn Part II) and one that should be fun (The Host) and of course the second in the Hunger Games series (yay!) to start planning my little get together's that drive the husband crazy and make my friends and family tease me. But I know the memories will last them forever and when we are all old and gray they will remember and still talk about it as we read books on the porch. And who knows...maybe someday I will be planning a party for the movie release of one of my books!!!

Hey, a girl can always hope :)

Bring on theSummer Reading!

So last summer I went a little nuts with the summer reading. Our local library is pretty amazing and so we visit it quite often. Well, you know the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover"? It is sprinkled with a little bit of nonsense. Because yes, when it comes to people I totally get that. But I almost always pick up a book to read based on the cover.

I slide through the YA section of my library, pulling books out at random, scanning the title and the cover. If it doesn't catch my attention, I place it back in its spot and continue on until I have an arm full of books to read.

Not saying that this is the only way I pick a book (I also take recommendations) but I have found some of the most amazing series and novels this way! I have discovered authors that I admire and genre's within the YA world of literature that I did not even realize existed (like steam punk zombie) and while this summer my to-read shelf is already very full as is my kindle, I can't help but get excited about finding awesomely done covers and new authors.

So for mothers day, one of the things I wanted to do was wander Barnes and Nobel a bit. Two books just recently came out that I want to read and have been waiting for the last 10 months: Endure by Carrie Jones, the final book to the Need Series AND Destined by Aprilynne Pike, part of her Wings Series.

I also stumbled upon a few others based on their covers that I mentally added to my wish list for the summer:
Masque of the Red Death by Bethany Griffin
Desires of the Dead and The Last Echo, both a body finders novel by Kimberly Derting
The Last Princess by Galaxy Craze (I know, cool name right?!)
The Immortal Rules by Julie Kagawa (I am actually reading her Iron Fey series right now and loving it! This one is all over GoodReads so now I am curious)
Revived by Cat Patrick

Fortunately for me, I FINALLY finish college this summer (is it odd that I feel weird adding the M.A after my name?) and so my free time to read will grow. As it is now, I have to sneak reading time in when I exercise or on my lunch break or when the family is asleep.

Other than that...I just plan on writing, writing, writing. I am in the middle of  completing three different novels at the moment and looking forward to publishing the second book in the Tainted series by the end of summer.

So now that I have shared a glimpse of my reading list for the summer, I would like to know, whats on yours?


Oh, and just a little side note: took a relaxing two day vacation up in the mountains with the family and had myself a little Jemma moment.

Thought the cloud trails were beautiful but immediately thought about the tainted! Stay healthy!